The road ain't a cruel mistress...

I'm flinging forth a quick update to let YOU know what WE have been up to. We've just played show number 8 out of 37 or something shows and WE FEEL AWESOME. Well, that's a lie. We're completely fucked and tired but dude! The Hot Club machine is in motion and we couldn't be happier. I'm writing this from our friend's house in BRISTOL. We played the THEKLA last night and it was really quite lovely. Before that we played the legendary 100 CLUB on OXFORD STREET in LONDON, which was awesome. We were trying to figure out what date the METALLICA photograph was taken and we reckon it must have been like '87 or something, seeing as poor old CLIFF ain't there working the thumpstaff. Me and Alasdair got drunk in Madame JoJos. Matthew got drunk watching Battlestar Galactica on his own. WE SAID GOODBYE TO TAKA (our favourite Japanese SUPER FAN). Other hightlights since I last told you what the fuck was up include: LEAVING COVENTRY (despite meeting some awesome folk there), SWEEEEET BIRMINGHAM SELL OUT SHOW, a super-nice Cardiff show full of super-nice kids, and the fact our TOUR GAMES have gotten out of hand:

My favourite so far is singing people's license plates to the tune of 'If You Don't Know Me By Now' by SIMPLY RED. There's also the classic BAND NAME GAME. I'll post up a proper rule sheet at some point, but you'll get the jist from this jam:

THE THE FALL OUT BOY KILL BOY GEORGE MICHEAL JACKSON FIVE KNUCKLE DUST BROTHERS WITH DIFFERENT MOTHERS OF INVENTION.

Ok. We're headed to PETERSFIELD tonight, and we're STOKED about it. Then we go to SWINDON, BRIGHTON and CAMBRIDGE and then we go home for a night off before getting into the NORTHERN LEG of this tour.

Come out and play! ALSO! MY LITTLE HAUNTING IS OUT RIGHT NOW! BUY IT AND SEND US TO THE TOP OF THE CHARTS etc. You can buy a fit as fuck 7" from our site www. hotclubdeparis. com, or from www. banquetrecords. com. There's all that usual download shit too.

Here's the video again:

Love Paul. x

YOU'RE A WETHERSPOONER

We just had a hot meal in the most civilised Wetherspoons on the planet, which was nice enough. It was good not to be eating another hoummous sandwich. I'm grateful to Matthew for making them though. Our van is broken. The exhaust wants to get on the floor, the prick. We took it to the garage and a man hoisted it up dead high and looked at it and shook his head a bit so we're going to have to buy a new exhaust tomorrow. It was dead funny seeing the van so high up though. Looked like it was well enjoying it. We're in Cardiff waiting to play show number 5 on the tour. Birmingham last night was completely fuck-off awesome. It sold out and everyone went off their heads which was decent of them. Fucking load-out was monsterous though. Through a bar fraught with staff and down 4 flights of stairs. We were racked with pain this morning, but that's fine. I slept in a conservatory and felt like I was being microwaved when I woke up.

I'm off to sell some merch to Wales.

COVENTRY TOMORROW!
x

The Brownest Hands on the Block and TOUR!

Joe Tucker (who married his partner in crime Ruth Smith at the weekend - MASS CONGRATULATION) and I spent some time in London a couple of weeks ago to make this video for our next single My Little Haunting. The premise was that our hands would dance with a planchette over a number of Hot Club de Paris Ouija Boards in different costumes around various props. When we got to the last board, which was a pink and red number, we applied fake tan and attached fake fingernails to our finger tips so that it looked like our hands belonged to women (I should have probably shaved mine). We put on this fake tan and it was well shit. Our hands didn't even go brown. We decided to score some instant fake tan from the Boots on Oxford Street. It was far too expensive so we squeezed out the contents of the tube into our hands and left the shop, rubbing it into our hands as we went. We shot the scene, washed off the tan and removed the finger nails (the latter activity being particularly grim) and packed up the gear. About an hour later our hands started to get darker and darker. It was well vile. I only just managed to get it off in time for the wedding and have since learnt a valuable lesson about fake tan: It's disgusting and will make you look disgusting until it washes off your disgusting body. And here is the video:

Crumbs kids, we go on tour again on Wednesday. I didn't think I was all that excited but I've just realised that I am. Our touring in support of our new record has been so sporadic in comparison to the last album but that's about to change. We'll be on tour for the next two months and it's sure to rule. We're revisiting some old haunts as well as spending some time in some new places so please come say hello. Unfortunately Elle Milano have had to pull out of the tour, so we apologise for that. It would have been awesome. However, we'll be stepping out with Sky Larkin, Copy Haho, and Tellison amongst others so please get involved. Party hard. Hooray for the road. Let's go.

Paul.x