King Tut, his wah wah hut and a tired bunch of silly sausages.

Wow. We've done NOTHING apart from play shows for a very long time, and we're finally drawing to a close. We're currently in GLASGOW after playing EDINBURGH last night. Matthew and Alasdair are streaming football and Joe and Richard from COPY HAHO are sat in silence on their laptops, Googling themselves (probably). I haven't rocked the blogosphere for a while so I'll fill you in and tell you about where we've been:

BRIGHTON: Pissed it down. The sea was scary and the sky looked as though it was going to spill the apocalypse all over our lousy lives. We stayed at a friends place. The cat fucking loved me. I wrote a song about it, and forgot it straight away.

CAMBRIDGE: Amazing venue. Great support bands and friendly faces. Good Chinese restaraunt. Interview. Broken amplifier. Long drive home at night on lawless, dark motorways.

TWO DAYS OFF IN LIVERPOOL: My housemate's birthday party. Breadsticks, bombay mix, olives and houmous. Spanish friend came to stay. He's an epic church hall of a man. Watched a GOBLIN tribute band at STATIC GALLERY. Watched GOMARRAH at FACT, or whatever it's called. Bleak as fuck and not all that good. Some complete dick-eater talked the whole way through it in a baritone warble. I love owning a bed.

NOTTINGHAM. Back on the road. A room full of people. TELLISON'S best show. They well nailed it. DOG IS DEAD deliver the goods and have improved ten-fold since we played with them. Load out. Aggressive huge man tries to set us on fire with his beady eyes. Fuck you. Get a smile on that dick sucker.

SHEFFIELD rules. Lots of good people. 3 drunkards fling their beers about, but they mean no harm. I develop an obsession with the Sheffield branch of TELLISON'S STREET TEAM (who appear to only have one member). She's brings a cake. It's got their faces on it. She had it printed at ASDA. Heckles about my Uncle Kevin. The cold weather begins. Snake pass at night, the lights of Manchester burning in the night.

WREXHAM is quiet as per usual, but a lot of fun. There's a hilarious review somewhere online. Rape jokes on stage. Sorry. Good food. We say so long to TELLISON. We welcome SKY LARKIN to our tour.

YORK. Fibbers! This venue has improved greatly since fucking Barfly doesn't run it. The people here are far too lovely for pricks like us. Unfortunately SKY LARKIN don't get to play because some shit-lover sprayed Katie's eyes with detergent from a water pistol from a moving car. She goes to hospital whilst we continue the rock show.

MANCHESTER. I mean, I like the Night and Day but its nice to play somewhere different. The Ruby Lounge is a totally awesome venue. We finally get to watch SKY LARKIN and they rule. I can't remember the name of the openers but they were grand. The Great Gatsby. The Old Man and The Sea. Our first gaffer tape wallet is sold for 5 quids. It looks like rain, but thats what Manchester is famous for.

CARLISLE. A MASSIVE room filled with nice people. Vile weather. Stay over in Sunderland. Sweet cheeba, beer and a nice view of the sea.

NEWCASTLE. Great to see old friendly faces and to play with B>E>A>K again. They are totally one of our favourite bands RIGHT NOW. We go and DJ at the End Bar and get completely fucked up. I still feel ill now. Late night walk and fastfood. Sleepover and breakfast with a soundtrack of the Beach Boys. Grassy claims that ACDC sing about card games on their new record. "DAH DAH NAH NAH NAH PONTOON!"

Sorry. This blog is a fucking saga. Empires will have fallen in the time it takes you to read this dogshit.

PRESTON. I eat the worst Chilli I've ever eaten. I drink Roots Manuva's apple juice and we play a show to a room full of freshers who have no interest in Hot Club de Paris. There are a few loyal fans at the front so we deliver rock specifically towards them. Attractive fans? Hot Club? Loneliness and madness.

EDINBURGH. I love Edinburgh. Drinking hard. Welcome COPY HAHO. Travel Lodge, Livingstone. Over sleep. Drive to Glasgow. Casserole at the 13th Note. King Tut's Wah Wah hut. Right now. Tired. A plate of sandwiches that are never going to get eaten.

Next stop Aberdeen and the Highlands and home.

Thank you so much for coming out to the shows. You make our lives the funnest things to live.
x

Swindon Travelodge. School Show. Tired...

I just remembered the other day that when Graham of rock band Voo and I were doing our club night (GLORY NIGHT) at Korova, some proper little fuck-end foppish student came up halfway through our set (WHICH WAS AWESOME) and he'd typed out this little twatty message into his phone which said 'You are inherently rubbish' (which I guess is an inherently rubbish thing to do for no reason). He showed it to me and then legged it out of the bar like a LITTLE GIRL in a TINY pink dress. I hope he comes to the next one so I can dismantle his frail mess of a body with my muscular frame.

ANYWAY. We just played Petersfield School, which was fairly mad. There were loads of parents there with their kids and it felt a bit like we were compering a PTA meeting.

I'm writing this from a Travel Lodge room in Swindon, which isn't as depressing as you'd think. Matthew and Al are watching Devil's Advocate LIVE on the televison set. We're eating Chinese food and drinking cider. I'm considering bedtime. We just played a venue called 12 Bar, which has been one of the nice suprises of the tour. It was strangely busy and everyone flung appreciation at us. There was a fake Johnny Rotten there who had Hitler's Speech as a ringtone on his phone. That's pretty prickish. I liked the support band, The Alfonz, because they reminded me of I Should Coco by Supergrass.

Tomorrow night is Brighton. Fucking love Brighton.

Paul.x

The road ain't a cruel mistress...

I'm flinging forth a quick update to let YOU know what WE have been up to. We've just played show number 8 out of 37 or something shows and WE FEEL AWESOME. Well, that's a lie. We're completely fucked and tired but dude! The Hot Club machine is in motion and we couldn't be happier. I'm writing this from our friend's house in BRISTOL. We played the THEKLA last night and it was really quite lovely. Before that we played the legendary 100 CLUB on OXFORD STREET in LONDON, which was awesome. We were trying to figure out what date the METALLICA photograph was taken and we reckon it must have been like '87 or something, seeing as poor old CLIFF ain't there working the thumpstaff. Me and Alasdair got drunk in Madame JoJos. Matthew got drunk watching Battlestar Galactica on his own. WE SAID GOODBYE TO TAKA (our favourite Japanese SUPER FAN). Other hightlights since I last told you what the fuck was up include: LEAVING COVENTRY (despite meeting some awesome folk there), SWEEEEET BIRMINGHAM SELL OUT SHOW, a super-nice Cardiff show full of super-nice kids, and the fact our TOUR GAMES have gotten out of hand:

My favourite so far is singing people's license plates to the tune of 'If You Don't Know Me By Now' by SIMPLY RED. There's also the classic BAND NAME GAME. I'll post up a proper rule sheet at some point, but you'll get the jist from this jam:

THE THE FALL OUT BOY KILL BOY GEORGE MICHEAL JACKSON FIVE KNUCKLE DUST BROTHERS WITH DIFFERENT MOTHERS OF INVENTION.

Ok. We're headed to PETERSFIELD tonight, and we're STOKED about it. Then we go to SWINDON, BRIGHTON and CAMBRIDGE and then we go home for a night off before getting into the NORTHERN LEG of this tour.

Come out and play! ALSO! MY LITTLE HAUNTING IS OUT RIGHT NOW! BUY IT AND SEND US TO THE TOP OF THE CHARTS etc. You can buy a fit as fuck 7" from our site www. hotclubdeparis. com, or from www. banquetrecords. com. There's all that usual download shit too.

Here's the video again:

Love Paul. x