Swindon Travelodge. School Show. Tired...

I just remembered the other day that when Graham of rock band Voo and I were doing our club night (GLORY NIGHT) at Korova, some proper little fuck-end foppish student came up halfway through our set (WHICH WAS AWESOME) and he'd typed out this little twatty message into his phone which said 'You are inherently rubbish' (which I guess is an inherently rubbish thing to do for no reason). He showed it to me and then legged it out of the bar like a LITTLE GIRL in a TINY pink dress. I hope he comes to the next one so I can dismantle his frail mess of a body with my muscular frame.

ANYWAY. We just played Petersfield School, which was fairly mad. There were loads of parents there with their kids and it felt a bit like we were compering a PTA meeting.

I'm writing this from a Travel Lodge room in Swindon, which isn't as depressing as you'd think. Matthew and Al are watching Devil's Advocate LIVE on the televison set. We're eating Chinese food and drinking cider. I'm considering bedtime. We just played a venue called 12 Bar, which has been one of the nice suprises of the tour. It was strangely busy and everyone flung appreciation at us. There was a fake Johnny Rotten there who had Hitler's Speech as a ringtone on his phone. That's pretty prickish. I liked the support band, The Alfonz, because they reminded me of I Should Coco by Supergrass.

Tomorrow night is Brighton. Fucking love Brighton.

Paul.x

The road ain't a cruel mistress...

I'm flinging forth a quick update to let YOU know what WE have been up to. We've just played show number 8 out of 37 or something shows and WE FEEL AWESOME. Well, that's a lie. We're completely fucked and tired but dude! The Hot Club machine is in motion and we couldn't be happier. I'm writing this from our friend's house in BRISTOL. We played the THEKLA last night and it was really quite lovely. Before that we played the legendary 100 CLUB on OXFORD STREET in LONDON, which was awesome. We were trying to figure out what date the METALLICA photograph was taken and we reckon it must have been like '87 or something, seeing as poor old CLIFF ain't there working the thumpstaff. Me and Alasdair got drunk in Madame JoJos. Matthew got drunk watching Battlestar Galactica on his own. WE SAID GOODBYE TO TAKA (our favourite Japanese SUPER FAN). Other hightlights since I last told you what the fuck was up include: LEAVING COVENTRY (despite meeting some awesome folk there), SWEEEEET BIRMINGHAM SELL OUT SHOW, a super-nice Cardiff show full of super-nice kids, and the fact our TOUR GAMES have gotten out of hand:

My favourite so far is singing people's license plates to the tune of 'If You Don't Know Me By Now' by SIMPLY RED. There's also the classic BAND NAME GAME. I'll post up a proper rule sheet at some point, but you'll get the jist from this jam:

THE THE FALL OUT BOY KILL BOY GEORGE MICHEAL JACKSON FIVE KNUCKLE DUST BROTHERS WITH DIFFERENT MOTHERS OF INVENTION.

Ok. We're headed to PETERSFIELD tonight, and we're STOKED about it. Then we go to SWINDON, BRIGHTON and CAMBRIDGE and then we go home for a night off before getting into the NORTHERN LEG of this tour.

Come out and play! ALSO! MY LITTLE HAUNTING IS OUT RIGHT NOW! BUY IT AND SEND US TO THE TOP OF THE CHARTS etc. You can buy a fit as fuck 7" from our site www. hotclubdeparis. com, or from www. banquetrecords. com. There's all that usual download shit too.

Here's the video again:

Love Paul. x

YOU'RE A WETHERSPOONER

We just had a hot meal in the most civilised Wetherspoons on the planet, which was nice enough. It was good not to be eating another hoummous sandwich. I'm grateful to Matthew for making them though. Our van is broken. The exhaust wants to get on the floor, the prick. We took it to the garage and a man hoisted it up dead high and looked at it and shook his head a bit so we're going to have to buy a new exhaust tomorrow. It was dead funny seeing the van so high up though. Looked like it was well enjoying it. We're in Cardiff waiting to play show number 5 on the tour. Birmingham last night was completely fuck-off awesome. It sold out and everyone went off their heads which was decent of them. Fucking load-out was monsterous though. Through a bar fraught with staff and down 4 flights of stairs. We were racked with pain this morning, but that's fine. I slept in a conservatory and felt like I was being microwaved when I woke up.

I'm off to sell some merch to Wales.

COVENTRY TOMORROW!
x